No Trust

Argh damn, i fucked up my colour tone assignment, and by next freaking week, I've to re-do it, fuck!

Anyway, my Zouk postcard design got to re-do also, due to it being too "spooky"... ahaha!




Dad's been acting real fucked up since last Saturday (actually he always do and honestly, i don't understand why does he always allows himself to be bothered by some fucked up "no big deal" shits.

Things like going home late, sleeping late and shits. Since Sat, he kept coming into my room to check on me, what the fuck? Just because his eldest son did some shit and pissed him off? And I got drag into it too? Oh here he goes again, he just did it again. Why is he always finding things to get himself upset? It fucking kills his own mood and the family's.

I mean it's ok to like implant a sort of discipline in me, but fuck, im 19 man, and you should know your son more than anyone else does, but times and times you claim that you do, but the sad truth is, u are just acting and assuming that you know, and that's the stubborn side of the fucking you that makes me dislike you at times. It's just the sad truth that i dont sense your trust in me. And for not letting me to take my driving, im seriously still fucking pissed at you. And i've not forgotten that you rather sell your iPhone, which i wanted, than giving it to your own son, who openly admitted that he would like to have it. What the fuck man? Im certain that its not the issue of money, what is it then?

Coming home late are just fucking normal for god sake, plus, it's not that i do it everyday. Dont i need to catch up with my friends? I got a way to arrange my life you know, and i've been doing fine so far. I dont need you to be "INVOLVE" in the arrangement of my life. You know, you just dont get the point man. I dont need you to restrict the way i am. Im a night guy, i like to sleep late cause im better at doing things during night, plus no one bothers me.

Your logic are very fucking dead do you know?

What?

Coming back home late = improper?
Sleeping late at night = Abnormal?

In conclusion, you lack trust in me, dont have to come up with fucked up excuses to cover this lie. I know myself, there's nothing wrong with me. The problem is you. You're always being paranoid. Dont have to act one hard surface to show people la please, i sian liao la you always being unreasonable.

You people trust me, If he got the chance to read my blog, he will think he wasted his effort to raise this child up. He WONT feel a sense of remorseful, not a bit trust me, i know him too well, but sadly, he doesn't know me.

Oh ya, i wont forget that you single-handedly destroyed my 16th and 18th birthday.

We might be living pretty well off, but what's the use if you like to fuck up things so often and cause no family peace?

Im usually the spark that triggers off an explosion in a room filled with gas. I talked back to you while we were quarreling in the past cause you accused me, so dont blame me for not listening/ not respecting you, cause you dont anyway.

And what really triggered off the fights? 2 words - No Trust.

Without trust, what i do/ wanted to do/ did seems to be always wrong.

So dont bullshit to me it's my own doing that lead to all these shit although this time round i wasnt the one who is having a fight with you. I am referring to things that happened all along.

Now i can really relate myself to the song from simple plan.

As a dad, you're quite a disappointment to me

Hey.